Well Hello there, and HAPPY Saturday!
I thought today might be a good day to share with you, how this whole wardrobe re-do came about and where I am in the minimalist process so far. If this isn't your deal, I totally understand that! Read on anyways, you might be encouraged to steer away from the mistakes I've made and avoid some of the struggle I've faced.
Three things you should know about my becoming a minimalist journey:
1.) I haven't always thought this way.
For as long as I have been buying my own clothing, I have always shopped the sale rack first. This is a good thing right? Well, I'm just now starting to learn maybe not. And in my case, probably not.
Instead of going shopping with an agenda and list of needed items, I would just wander over to the sales rack and if I saw something I liked, I would get it. No questions asked. I was proud of myself for getting such a good deal, and I was excited to wear it for the first time.
Only the first time.
That's the problem, After years of functioning this way, only "splurging" on a few good quality items that were core to my wardrobe, and snagging everything else off the sales rack or bought on a whim because the color was in that week; has left me with a closet of clothing pressed together so tightly that the hangers can't move and a dresser packed to overflowing. The very worst part, is that I wasn't even wearing half (if not more) of the clothes, because guess what!?! I didn't really even like them. How could I possibly like all the things, especially the ones I never really tried on in the store, or if I did, It was quick and I wasn't even fully focused on how it fit or made me feel, just that blasted sales sticker.
Ugh... this is the part that hurts the most. The re-living my mistakes and being reminded of all the poor decisions I've made. Change is never completely easy. I am learning that there is value to the hard parts of change. The hard reminds me of where I came from, and stands as proof that I am indeed changing. There is still more un-doing and re-training that need to take place. Along with that will come new opportunities to make better choices and certainly times of "what did I just do?" I won't get it right every time, but my hope is that the "uh-oh" moments will lessen dramatically.
I confess this all to you, because I want you to know that I've been a bad steward my friends. I want you to see my foolishness for what it is, and I don't want to sugar-coat the repulsive. I also want you to know that I desire to live intentionally and steward well the things that the Lord has entrusted to me. He has shown Himself so faithful through all of my yuck. He has revealed my sin for what it is and now it's up to me, to move forward from here. By sharing this with you, I welcome you into the accountability process. Just knowing that the community around me is aware of my desire for genuine change, will help push me in the right direction.
2.) This has been a LONG time coming. - Not an overnight "switch-a-roo"
Three years. Yup! It has nearly been three whole years of processing in this area. I guess you could say that it has been that long since my eyes have been opened to the flaw in my habits. Before that I never even recognized that my shopping habits were all that unhealthy or problematic. I would just joke saying, I have a coat problem or I have a thing for dresses and its an issue. laughing it off as I purchase yet another item that I half loved and really didn't need.
I was sharing with a dear friend the other day (who is on this journey of better stewardship with me) how the most painful things to get rid of, are those items that I've purchased post-marriage. I seem to have less angst tossing out clothes that I've accumulated as a single person, than those I have bought since becoming a Mrs.
I think this is true for two reasons.
1. I bought those items on my own, I was the only one who had to deal with the weight of my decisions, and didn't buy out of the money earned together.
2. I bought those items further in the past, so it feels a little easier to console myself, knowing I did actually maybe get a little bit of use out of that wasted money. (Still trying to justify, I know! obviously still growing! :)
Again, I sit here all bottled up and feeling that buyers remorse all over again! Sigh, life is a process, I'm thankful to be growing, but the weight of my poor decisions feels heavy today.
The Lord has been whittling away at me for a while now (talk about patience and faithfulness!). In the last month I have been pushed into action after a long season of heart shifts and mental turn- arounds. I'm thankful to finally arrive here, in this space I find myself today; but I'm still in need of much growth! Praise the Lord, that the evidence of heart change is finally tangible, it pushes me to dig into a deeper desperation for the Him.
3.) So far, I feel much more liberated than restricted.
This is the exciting news!
As I began to sort out my clothing and try to figure out how and who to give all these clothes to, I was amazed that there might possibly be some good to come out of all my bad. (God's kind of in the business of redeeming things, even my crazy clothes saga!) With my new lenses of stewardship on, I've tried to weigh out how I can be intentional with the "getting rid of process" of course the easiest thing would be to bring garbage bags stuffed with clothing to the nearest donation center and call it a day, but I sensed that even though it would be good in and of itself, it might not be the best plan.
I've decided to do a few different things, consignment, donation and hand-me-downs (to a few friends I'm close with and happy to pass them along to). I will go into more explanation in my next post about this process and also what my closet looks like today and where I want it to be in the coming months; along with my plan moving forward and how having less clothes has actually made me feel liberated rather than restricted. This is the stuff I'm really excited and passionate about, so stay tuned!
But for today, however you are taking in all of this pent-up craziness I am throwing at you, thank you for hearing me. For listening to my journey. I'm grateful that you care enough to know where I'm at in this season. I care for you too!
I really do.
I would absolutely love to hear from you and what you are facing or challenged with in these days. Or even answer any questions you have for me about my journey. I truly hope my transparency blesses you in some way, even if it's just a reminder that we are all moving forward and have things to work on.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
See you back here soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment