Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Open My Eyes To See you Lord

On Sunday mornings Chase and I find ourselves hanging out with some of the most gifted, growing, group of middle-school- aged kids around. We hit the doors to the youth room, and the energy explodes onto us and we love it! This has been our Sunday morning fun for 3 years now, and with every passing year, I wonder at the beauty, that is the opportunity to do life with these kids teens.

As I sat around a table with my small group girls, just this past week, I realized that these moments spent together are creating margin for vulnerability and trust building. Sitting there,  I worked my way back to my own Junior High years. I can still remember just how unique they were. I found myself in this space between wanting to be a kid holding on to my childhood, and forging forward into my teenage years of complicated relationships and greater responsibilities. This pendulum from childhood to adulthood known as the teenage years, is so much more than just an eclipse of change, but changes of all kinds are happening and its hard and rewarding, overwhelming and beautiful all at once.

Transitioning back, I want to be relevant for these girls, sensitive and present. I want to sympathize with their struggles and encourage them. Every week I whisper prayers over our time together. "Meet us here today Lord, guide my words and open all of our hearts towards you."

This week we talked about how we can't physically see God himself. We raised questions and talked through what that really means. We sat in silence some moments, and in deep discussion for others.

I just wish all of you could see this beauty unfold.

These girls, pouring out their hearts, asking the hard questions, desiring to truly see God; even if it isn't in the way the world would expect to see Him. I can sense their hunger for truth. My heart rejoices over and over.

Thank you Lord, this is what I have asked you for. 

As we are closing up our discussion, I pray over each of the beautiful souls before me. "Lord, help us to see you this week, open our eyes to the ways you are moving, give us boldness to be all in for you..." 

You know what girl 's heart He is moving in this week, right?

 yup, it's mine.

He has shown Himself to me, over and over and over again. I acknowledge Him and give myself to thankful praise, only to be met again by His tangible presence in my midst. Oh Father, in asking for open eyes, you are reminding me that it is you who sees me. 

You know me. 
You love me. 
You see me. 

One thing I know for certain, He is faithful, so faithful. He loves His children with an extravagant love. I am learning alongside girls half my age, about just how mysterious and wonderful our God is and I couldn't be more grateful! Sometimes in life I forget that it isn't me doing anything noble at all, it is God who chooses to use my grace- covered- life for His glory and my good.

Today, I am thankful.

I'm thankful for the 10 girls who gather with me week after week, for the community that surrounds me daily and for a God who sees me, and opens my eyes to see Him too.